Q&A Thanksgiving Jokes
Q: What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
A: The turKEY
Q: How can you send a turkey through the post office?
A: Bird class mail
Q: Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
A: Because they use such FOWL language
Q: What has feathers and webbed feet?
A: A turkey wearing scuba gear
Q: How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
A: I’ll let you know next week.
Q: What do you call a dumb gobbler?
A: A jerky turkey
Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A:Because he had the drumsticks.
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A:It was the chicken’s day off
Doctor, Help this Turkey
Gobbler said, “Doctor, help me! I can’t stop acting like a turkey!”
“I see,” said the doctor. “How long have you had this problem?”
“Let me think a second. Mom laid the egg in 1954.
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes from Famous Comedians and Writers
We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing. ~George Carlin
“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” ~Jon Stewart
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. ~Phyllis Diller
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. ~Johnny Carson
Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants. ~Kevin James
Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. ~Michael Dresser
An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day. ~Irv Kupcinet